By its very nature, divorce is a negative experience: the severing of a relationship. Technically, it’s the dissolution of a contract, however, if you were to say that to someone in the divorce process it would come across as heartless and unsympathetic.
Divorce is not just ending or breaking a marriage or relationship contract, divorce is separating lives: children, friends, family-not to mention the material goods. There is great value in changing your thinking about divorce to help you get through it. While somewhat simplistic, it may help you shift your perspective for a moment or two.
I strongly advocate processing your emotions, however, for purposes of getting through the day or the moment though, I offer some tips to put the emotional overwhelm aside:
- It’s a piece of paper. When you got married you signed one, you’re getting divorced, you need to sign another one.
- It’s just stuff. Yes, the stuff has value, yes, it’s yours and your ex gets to keep it. You can always get more stuff-you can’t get back the time you spend arguing over it.
- You’re negotiating a business transaction-maybe your first one, what a great experience!
- This is an opportunity to clean out your house and take stock of all your stuff.
- Nothing gained, nothing to lose. You get to start over.
When the moment seems like it will never end, try pondering one of these tips, it might jar your brain into thinking differently and alter your whole perspective on divorce.